I am learning to try to stay in my being, when I drift away I feel lost. I am inching my way with my fiddle head paintings. I am in an artist block. First time in my life. Is this labor? Hmmm. I have been to Italy and I have been to Canada on a family reunion cruise. I have 7 siblings and everyone was there and their significant others as well totaling the people to twenty two. This number follows me. That is another blog though! I sought out people on the 12th deck in the back. There was a lot of main stream music and a continuous party atmosphere. I guess you can describe me as perhaps a loner? An artist type? What is that? I feel everything around me, like I have no skin. An empath? So many labels. It was good to see my brothers and sisters and others. I love them dearly. I am including a quote below that I embrace with my family and my own children and grandchildren by C. S. Lewis. As well my husband and I went to several art museums including the Fenamore Art Gallery in Cooperstown, NY…. And the Albany Institute of Art and History on several occasions. With the Fenamore Art Gallery in Cooperstown, I embraced the solitude and quite. I never realized until this experience how much I craved looking at beautiful art work and being still. The sun was bright and my husband and I went to a natural food restaurant afterwards. I weave the days with much energies towards my family.
I bid adieu for now.
“There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in …the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell. I believe that the most lawless and inordinate loves are less contrary to God’s will than a self-invited and self-protective lovelessness…We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as a way in which they should break, so be it.”
~ C.S. Lewis